"Trust Fund"

  Let's say you have this account, that you can't put anything in , and you can make a withdraw. but if you do,you can never replace what you took.your best plan is too not touch this money until the "promised" time is set for you to collect.
 I had set up such an account but with out money. I had made a promise to God 9yrs. ago that I would not "dip" into this "Trust Fund", until the apropreiate day/evening that He set aside for me.
 It was hard at first, there was so many ideas on how I could use this fund. But as time went on and after a lot of prayer,to the Lord for Him to take the desire away, it got easier.
Once in awhile that passion would creep up, But my trust in the Lord and with the Power that He gave me the lusty feelings would stop, and that would keep  me from "dipping" into  the "Trust Fund".

  Last night, there wasn't anything special or different about it, then any other day, that I could see. So I didn't have my guard up.
 There was an intruder and before I realized what was going on, I had lost everything that I had worked so hard to keep sacret.
 My " Trust Fund" was broken.
 But now don't think that I was the innocent party here, Because I was not.
I saw the intruder come in, and I cowardly let him take over.I knew what he was saying was wrong and that with Gods help I could stand against him, and no matter how tough the battle got, with the strength of the "LORD GOD" on my side I would come out victorious.
 So why didn't I stand against the evil thoughts that was running through my mind?
 Why did I let those feelings of "lust" come in the picture?
 Where was the "super hero" that she looks up to?
   I guess the devil finally found my "kryptonite" and instead of crying out to God for His strength, I just became weak.

 Soon after the "Trust Fund" was broken, I was ashamed, the intruder was still there, and now he's telling us that we did nothing wrong, but if it would make us feel better that we should just ask for forgiveness, which we did right away.
But were our prayers said in vain?
 The devil was still tempting us and we gave into him again, and again.
 Now that I look back, I ask,
God where were you?
Why didn't you stop this?
 I thought you loved me?
  His reply was " It's because I love you, that I didn't interfere, I gave you the choice and your own freewill".
He said, "I never left your side" and "I was waiting for you to call out to Me".
He said "that I wanted so bad to help you , but you never called"
 and if He did interfered then where would the learning  experience be?

 All things that is happening in my life are because of choices that I have made long ago and some the  consequences
are just now making it to me. God does not put Problems in our lives, He gives us learning experience  that we need to call on Him for helpand guidance .
 Now, the 9yrs. that I had invested in were all lost in a moments time.
 All the hard work and trust, Was it worth it?
 I'd have to say "YES!!, it was."
 My Faith with the lord has grown over the past 9yrs.and even though I have to start over again, now I have the knowledge of what to avoid.

         LORD JESUS,
 please watch over me, Lord I want to please you, I know that I'm nothing without you in my life.I pray that you will allow me to set up another "Trust Fund".
 Lord, please guide me, and be my advisor,and Lord when troubles come my way, please shield me from them,but if I still try to stray from you , Lord you have my permission please get my attention back on you no matter what it takes.
  Lord Jesus, I love you, I praise you, I worship you.
   all these things Lord, I pray.

                                                   AMEN...